Client feedback from a newborn to parents – Creative Writing

Here is a piece of Creative writing, writing a feedback email from newborn as client to her parents.

Hi Parents,
I’ve been a little patient especially after looking at you two not getting well together. But considering this is your first baby project, interestingly, things are really coming together. Really appreciate the progress you’ve made in last four months. Here is some feedback.

1. Even though you proceeded without my opinion, I like the name you finalized “Elakshi” especially because of three vowels in it which makes it even cuter than the Pebbles Flinstones of cartoon network. I like you doing a proper case study and QA on this and not choosing a tongue twister like Bollywood actors do for the sake of being Fancy. Does anybody else care anyway?
2.  I really like the pink & red color of the clothes you choose. That is OK but I feel like there is more we can do here. Thoughts?
3. Can I get better stuff for entertainment like music and movies? Not really liking this shitty Chinese toys. Some music toys with beats are recommended. What about an iphone? And who placed amazon alexa near my bed?
4. Re. Timesheet – Seems like Sachin is logging lot fewer hours per week than we originally agreed upon in the MoU. Is this intentional? Really appreciate the 24×7 availability of your teammate Gargi, but her support on daily issues like “peeing & poop” is pretty slow. Such issues become unbearable sometimes.

   

   Photo by Omar Lopez
5. Re: Meals – Currently, the only option of Milk is what I am getting for meals. I’d appreciate if you guys put a little time into getting creative and finding more options. For the time being, let’s begin with the water ASAP. Things get harder for me sometimes. (Slide 34-35)
6. What is it with the latest diapers you installed? I see you purchased them in bulk from Amazon for a discount to reduce your expenditure, but it is oversized for me. Was this intentional?
7. Re: Grandparents – I’ve been noticing some irregularities in your backup team. Seems like they only appear when the project is running up and smooth. In event of any bug or issue, they are nowhere to be found. Can we fire them instead?
8. We have talked about the maintenance period of “Mundan Ceremony”. When are we planning that? I am expecting some downtime during that, I hope you guys will make it quick and smooth. Let me know the tentative date and I’ll be prepared.
9. Please cut the “ole-ole-ole” and “puchi-puchi” crap from the UI. Those were placeholders anyway (if not, your content-writer sucks!!). but now the system is going live, Better come up with something more sensible with the help of a good content-writer. I am open to ideas.
10. Lastly, what is this “religion” thing you installed? We didn’t freeze the requirements on this. Do I have a choice of changing this to a simpler one, or ideally, not having it at all? Doable?

I realize it is Friday, but I appreciate you guys working over the weekend. It would be great if you can take care of some high priority issues over the weekend and we can catch up on Monday. If this project goes well, you’ll have a green-light on the next project (if you are ready of course!) I can help you look at them as well.

I gotta go hangout with that cockeyed teddy your sister-in-law gifted me.

Thanks,
Elakshi
Do not print this email unless really necessary, Go Green!

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